


Q

by Lucifer_BringerofLight



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifer_BringerofLight/pseuds/Lucifer_BringerofLight
Summary: Once again, Q has been punished by her father. This time, he send her to the Voyager and stripped her of her powers. Afraid of what they will do to her when they find out who she is, Q hides her true identety and calls herself Quinn. As she waits for her powers to return, she slowly falls in love with being human and with the Voyager crew, with Chakotay particularly.
Relationships: Chakotay/OC





	1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet night on the bridge of the Voyager. Ensign Kim sat in the captain’s chair, joking around with the other officers from the nightshift. Most of the nights, nothing even remotely interesting happened. And this night, nobody expected it to be different. The next inhabitant solar system was several lightyears away, so it was not likely for anyone to show up. Especially not without a warning, since their long-range sensors were rather good. All in all, Harry Kim expected it to be a quiet night, same as most of the nights before that he had spent here. Therefore, it came as a surprise, when out of nothing, a woman crashed into some of the consoles. Everyone jumped to their feet, astonished and shocked, facers pointed at her, but she wasn’t much of a threat. How would she, after crashing into a console, destroying it completely and then stopping only because the wall didn’t break as easily. Since she hadn’t moved yet Harry moved closer, carefully.

“Where did she come from?”

The security officer stood next to Harry, starring down on the woman, who was buried in the remains of the console and wall she crashed into.

“I don’t know, but we need the Doctor here.”

When he kneeled down to remove the debris, the woman’s eyes opened, starring right at him. Harry shrugged back. Her eyes were of a bright lilac and filled with rage. Without pushing any of the debris away first, she rose and looked around angrily. Putting her hands on her hips, starring at Harry, she reminded him of Captain Janeway. Though, usually, he thought, Captain Janeway wore her uniform, or any cloths, really, this woman however was completely naked and didn’t seem to care too much. Although, Harry wasn’t sure if she knew. Anyways, it certainly was rather low on her list of important things to take care of. And on his, too.

“Bridge to Captain Janeway”

Harry waited a second, not taking his eyes of the woman, carefully avoiding looking anywhere that might be considered inappropriate. After all, his parents had raised him well.

‘Yes, Mr Kim, what can I do for you?’

The Captain sounded sleepy, but not mad, though Harry had just woken her up.

“You should come down here. I’m sure you want to see this.”

She had probably expected more of an explanation, but how on earth should Harry explain this to his Captain? Especially considering he had not the tiniest clue of what exactly this was.

‘On my way’

While they had been talking, the woman began getting bored of starring at Harry and started walking around a little, curious about where she was. She didn’t care much for the people, but was quite interested in the undestroyed pieces of this ship.

“Who are you?”

Though she heard Harry, she didn’t bother to look at him, let alone answer. Mostly because she didn’t want to, but not only.

Soon Captain Janeway entered the bridge, followed by Comander Chakotay, whom she had woken.

“What did you want me to – Oh, I see.”

She frowned given the naked woman on her bridge. After all, this was not the usual late-night call she got from Harry. Mostly he woke her to inform her about other ships or similar occurrences. Naked women on her bridge were rare, or to be more precise, unheard of.

“Who is she and how did she get in? And what happened to my ship?”

By now Janeway had discovered the crashed console. And she was not happy about it.

“She happened. She showed up… just boom.”

Not the most eloquent way of expressing himself, but the only way Harry could think of right now. Which earned him an half amused smile from Chakotay and a frown from Janeway.

“Boom?”

“She just crashed into the wall, out of nowhere. One moment everything was quiet and normal and the next … boom. There she was, crash landing in that console.”

“And what happened to her cloths?”

Harry and the other officers shrugged their shoulders, they had asked themselves the same. But obviously, they had no answer. So, Janeway did the only reasonabal thing and turned towards their strange passenger.

“Excuse me, I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation Starship Voyager.”

“I know who you are, and I know where I am, thank you.”

She didn’t sound too happy about that, though. In fact, she sounded rather mad about it.

“Well, okay. And who are you?”

“Ahm… Quinn? I’m Quinn.”

Quinn was a nice name, she decided, and since she needed one, why not use it? After what happened, she couldn’t continue walking around with the name her father had given her.

“That sounded like a question.”

“Well, it was. I never had a name before, didn’t need one. Not a real one at least.”

Now she had confuse the crew of the Voyager. But she didn’t care. Why would she?

“Do you know how you got here?”

“That asshole of my father send me. To teach me a lesson, as he claims. But if you ask me, he just wanted to get me out of his way, now that he’s back together with his wife and they have their dumb little saviour baby boy.”

No, she wasn’t mad at the boy for being born, he had nothing to do with that. Quinn was damn mad at her creator for creating him and her and for just existing. She was mad at him for almost everything.

“Why would your father send you here, naked?”

“He didn’t send me here naked, he send me here while I was naked. And I was naked because I made out with some human and he was angry about that. Somewhere in his arrogant mind he decided that he is the only one of our species who has the right to communicate with your lot. He’s a little possessive when it comes to humans.”

“Possessive?”

“Oh yes, he thinks you belong to him. The same way some humans keep pets. Yeah, he considers you his pets. You especially, the Voyager is one of his favourites.”

Janeway look somewhere between confused and horrified. Which Quinn easily could have changed to completely horrified, if she had told her, that the main reason for him to like them so much was him being super hot for her.

“So, anyway, what’s your plan for me? Gonna throw me off the ship or will you let me stay?”

Janeway and Chakotay looked at me for some more seconds, then turned to each other.

“Can we trust her?”

He tried to whisper, but Quinn had good ears, so she heard it.

“No, Comander, you cannot. I am what I am, and I doubt that anyone of my species is capable of something like kindness or friendship.”

“Very reassuring, thank you.”

“Pleasure.”

Chakotay tried to hide a smile, while Janeway looked like she had a headache. Which she probably had and which Quinn was sure she had caused. She even felt a little sorry for her, none of these humans could be blamed for her father’s obsession with them. it was all on him, not them. And now she was here, had damaged their ship and had to be dealt with on one way or the other.

“You can stay for now. Because we are capable of kindness, and because it’s not like we had any good options.”

“That’s true, of course. But thank you anyway.”

Janeway simply nodded and left, but when she stepped through the doors Quinn could hear her say

“Somebody get her some clothing.”

Now, Chakotay finally cracked that smile he had been trying to hide. Apparently, Quinn thought, he found this entire situation amusing. So did she, somewhere between being mad at the father, but she was messed up.

“Please follow me Quinn. Harry, the bridge is all yours again.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay lead Quinn off the bridge and to the infirmary. On the way, they met only very few crewmembers, but all they met looked more than irritated to see their chief officer walking through the ship accompanied by a naked woman. When they entered the infirmary, Quinn was a little surprised to find it empty. She had expected it to be maned at least with emergency personal. Even more surprised she was however, when Chakotay started talking to the empty room.

“Doctor, I bring you a new patient.”

He turned to Quinn, “He likes it to be informed about newcomers. And after you crashed into those consoles, it might be a good idea to have him check you.

“Oh, I’ve done worse things than being thrown through time and space and crash-landing in a human spaceship.”

“I’d like to hear about that sometime.”

“Sure, why not. Now, where is that doc of yours.”

“I’m here.”

A man appeared out of nothing and nearly gave Quinn a heart attack. She shrugged back, but the next second, the man was gone. Much to Chakotay’s surprise.

“Doctor? Are you still there?”

No answer came, leaving Chakotay wondering where a hologram might have gone.

“Computer, activate EMH.”

“No such program available.”

Now, Chakotay was complete confuse, he had no idea how it was possible for an emergency program to simply disappear from their system. But when he turned around to Quinn to explain to her that the Doctor was just a hologram, a now gone hologram, he found her looking slightly ashamed, scratching herself behind an ear.

“So, that guy was a program?”

“Yes. Do you, by any chance, know why he’s gone?”

“Chance is, I know. Why do you have a holographic doctor and not a human one?”

Something was off with her, Chakotay was sure. He also was sure, though, that she meant no harm to this ship or it’s crew. But he could not make sense of her.

“The doctor of the ship was killed when we were taken to this quadrant.”

Quinn nodded slowly, “But you’ve been here for quite some time, haven’t you? Why not replace him with a real person?”

A reasonable question, he had to admit, but he wondered why she’d even care.

“At first, we didn’t have a replacement, both the doctor and his assistant had died and the medic of my own crew had died too. Over the time, however, the doctor has become part of the crew, we even grew to like him.”

Inconvenient, very inconvenient. Especially considering that Quinn had just send him into a supernova at the beginning of time. She was used to people popping up in front of her, but they usually were of her on kind. And with usually, she meant always, except this one time now. She now could admit to Chakotay, that it was her fault, that they were short on doctors now, again, but she wanted to stay here. It was her one and only chance to find out what her father found about this people that made him so obsessed with him that he was willing to keep a civil war raging just so he could have the chance to mate with one of them.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Who?”

Quinn had been so lost in thoughts that she, at first, had no idea who Chakotay was talking about, but remembered quickly.

“Your doctor, of course. Yes, ahm, actually, as matter of fact, I might know.”

How could she possibly explain it to him, without revealing the truth about herself?

“And where might that be?”

“Behind you?”

She tried to smile at Chakotay, but looked anything but happy, more like she was trying to hide something, but what that might be, he had not the faintest idea of. So instead of asking about it, he turned around and indeed, there stood the doctor, looking utterly horrified.

“How…? Where have you been? What happened?”

“I… I don’t know. One moment, I stand here, about to ask you what I can do for you, the next… I don’t remember what happened next, but I felt… bodyless, reduced to atoms, to the very particles of light I am made of.”

“Very poetic, your doctor.”

“Who is that woman?”

“Her name is Quinn, she crashed into the bridge earlier tonight. She’s going to stay for a while.”

“She crashed into the bridge? Like that?”

Quinn rolled her eyes, this hologram didn’t seem to be the brightest, and he didn’t seem to be rather nice, either.

“If you’re hinting the lack of cloths, yes, like this.”

Now that she mentioned it, Chakotay remembered that he had wanted to replicate her some cloths. About the Doctor’s disappearance, he had forgotten about it and he had almost gotten used to her bareness, since he had tried to ignore it as good as he could since he had first seen her. While he did that, the Doctor examined her, coming to the conclusion that she was of exceptional health.

“I knew that already, but thanks for the confirmation.”

“I’ll take you to your new rooms if you don’t mind. The tour around the rest of the ship I’d give you tomorrow, if that is okay, because it’s late and I’m really tired.”

“Does space have time? Rhetorical question, obviously I know the answer. I assume you live by earth schedule?”

“Not directly, but something like that. Actually, yeah, pretty much like that.”

“Good to know, now I know what schedule I have to adapt to. Because let’s be honest, Saranean schedule sucks.”

“Never heard of that before.”

“Oh, it’s a planet somewhere deep, deep into the, guess its still delta quadrant, but if yes, it’s the outer edge of it. Anyway, terrible place. Dark and smudged. Their workdays are like thirty earth hours long, the nights only half that time.”

“How do you know this place?”

“Spent about a decade working there. Another punishment of my father.”

Chakotay frowned, “Your father seems to be a cruel man and he seems to enjoy punishing you.”

“At least he’s very creative about it. In all my long life, he has never punished me the same way twice, and he has punished me a lot of times.”

“How old exactly are you?”

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, between eternity and those endless punishments, she had lost track of time.

“Might be somewhere in the two-thousands now, I don’t know, maybe three-thousand. I once spent several years at the bottom of an ocean. Time is relative.”

“It seems your father has been almost kind this time.”

If one could call it kind of him to strip her of most of her powers, to send her away, to give her no way out and to make her depend on humans, depending on their kindness, then yes. But he surely had not intended to be.

“Must have been an accident, then. He does not know the meaning of kindness.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for? You didn’t abandon me on a ship in the middle of nowhere with no way to go home again.”

Chakotay fell silent, he had no comfort to offer to her, wasn’t even sure if she needed, much less wanted, any. Whatever species she belonged to, they seemed to be no one he wanted to meet. All he could hope for was that she was different than her father and no danger to the ship. She was definitely trying to hide something, whatever it was, it might put the crew at risk. But when he looked at her, by now dressed in jeans and a shirt, she didn’t seem dangerous, she seemed lost and lonely. Suddenly Chakotay felt sorry for her. Her entire life, all thousand or more years of it, has she ever been loved? Did she even know the meaning of this word? She had already said her father didn’t know kindness, what else had he never shown her? Probably not. That poor woman next to him might have never had someone in her life that had care for her. But she now had, he decided, he would show her how humans cared for each other, how the Voyager was a family and for as long as she was here, she would be part of that family.

While Chakotay was thinking about how to show her the true meaning of family, Quinn though about how to hide her secret. She knew that her father had taken away most of her powers. What he could not take away, or at least hadn’t, was her immortality and her knowledge. That was at least something. And some power must have remained. How else would she have been able to send the Doctor away? No, some residents of it were still there, just not enough to take her away from here. However, she knew that her father had set a time period after which it would return. He was too lazy to do it himself, so he had encaged it somewhere and made sure it would be set free after that time. as soon as that happened, she would get her powers back and could leave. Until then, however, she would have to stay here and play along, make herself useful. Maybe as a Doctor. Whatever, she had lots of knowledge and was adaptable. She would find a way.

Not now, however. They had reached the quarters Chakotay had intended for her.

“This are your rooms for as long as you’re here. You’ll be unbothered in here. Over there is a Replicater, I don’t know if you know them?”

“Molecular Synthesizers, yes, I know them. I’ll be fine, thank you, Chakotay. You should go to bed now.”

He smiled and agreed. “I’ll come back in the morning to show you where to get breakfast, and afterwards I’ll show you the ship, okay?”

“Sounds good. Good night.”

“Good night, sleep tight.”

She wasn’t sure if she could sleep at all. Qs didn’t sleep, nor eat. Was she even able to eat? Well, she would find out soon enough. First things first. Which meant sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

She hadn’t slept much, but neither had Chakotay. Quinn’s problem was to figure out how to sleep. Last time she slept, it was after she had collapsed from exhaustion. Since she now wasn’t nearly as exhausted as then, she didn’t fall asleep as easily. Chakotay's problem however was Quinn. He couldn’t get her out of his head. There was something odd about her, something other than that she wouldn’t say who she was and who her father was, or why her father was obsessed with them. But he couldn’t tell what it was, if it was even real or just in his mind.

The only way to find out was to talk to her. And since he had promised her to show her around after breakfast, that wouldn’t be a problem. So, after a rather short night, Chakotay picked her up at her quarters and showed her the way to the casino, where they would have breakfast.

“I see, news travel fast around here.”

Everyone they met stared at her. Which she explained with her absolutely unspectacular arrival last night. A naked woman crashing into a console, without damaging the ship’s hull or having any damage done to herself was, of course, extraordinary news.

“Yes, they do. The captain wants to speak to you later, by the way. She wants to know a little more about the circumstances that lead you here.”

“Like I said, I pissed of my creator. That happens once in a while. Might be because I think it’s somewhat funny, might be because I get bored a lot, might be because he’s easily pissed.”

Chakotay frowned, but didn’t say anything. By now they had reached the casino and he got them both some breakfast before they sat down.

“Was your father like that when you were a child?”

“When do you think I worked in the Saranean mines?”

She had gotten used to it and at first couldn’t understand why Chakotay looked as horrified as he did.

“How do you raise your children? Don’t you punish them?”

“No, not like that.”

He sighed and began to eat silently. Quinn just stared at the food on her plate. She never really understood the concept of food, though she was familiar with eating in general, she rarely ever did it.

“My father and I argued a lot. It didn’t happen often that we shared an opinion and therefore we had many reasons to argue. I left my family when I was fifteen and joined the Starfleet, which he was angry about. But he told me when he disapproved. Sometimes he took me with him on his journeys, which I saw as a punishment as a boy, but my father never intended them as such.”

“What did he intend them to be?”

“Lessons, maybe? He wanted me to learn about my people, to accept my heritage. He hoped that, if I just made my peace with where I came from, I would actually stay and be happy.”

“But you still left?”

“And hurt my father in the process. Until he died, I never realised what he had wanted to teach me. Now I’m learning, slowly.”

Quinn nodded slowly. She had sometimes visited other species and had learnt that most of them treated their offspring with care and respect. Then again, they could actually kill them, so they probably had to. Killing her was plainly impossible. Not even if he really tried her father had the powers to do that, he couldn’t even take away hers completely. But as she now listened to Chakotay telling her about his early childhood, when both his parents had been alive, Quinn began to wonder if it was possible that humans might actually love their children. How very peculiar. Her father, she knew for sure, never loved her, never even cared for her. Affection was something most definitely unknown to her species and if one of them accidently learnt about it, they would ignore it.

“Are you all right, Quinn?”

She hadn’t even noticed that Chakotay had stopped talking and now was looking at her slightly worried.

“Yeah, just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Humans, I guess. You seem to have had quite a happy childhood. But still, you left it behind.”

“I like to think so, yes. But as I grew older, I had problems adapting to the life my tribe had chosen. I wanted to live in the modern world. My mother had died, and my father was strongly against technology. So, I left to join the Starfleet.”

Leaving her father behind, that was something she would love to do. But sadly, it was impossible. He would find her everywhere. Then again, would he come looking for her? Only if she would be with humans. Then again, he had left her with them, so where else would she go without her powers? But the actually interesting matter was where she would go after her powers would return. Until now, she had always returned to the continuum, not knowing where to go. The continuum was her home, there she had grown up and lived all her life. Never before had she considered leaving it. But never before had she had a place to go.

While Quinn was lost deeply in her own thoughts, Chakotay watched her. Her expression hadn’t changed during their brief conversation, nor now. She still looked troubled and confused, and if he wasn’t completely mistaken, even lost. He might not have ever met her father, nor did he know any of her species except for her, but he deeply and profoundly resented them for what they had done to her. How could someone possibly treat their child like that? To send her to work in mines as a punishment. To abandon her on a ship, naked. That was beyond words! An anger was raging within him that he hadn’t felt in many years. Last time he had joined the Marquis. Which was, why Chakotay hoped he would never met Quinn’s father, because if he did, he couldn’t guarantee for anything. Right now, he really wanted to break his nose. A couple dozen times.

After he had finished his breakfast, Quinn didn’t eat anything, they made their way to the bridge. Along the way he showed her some important parts of the ship, like engineering. On the brigde, Captain Janeway awaited them.

“Welcome to the bridge, again. This time officially.”

She had spent the last few hours thinking about their guest and, same as Chakotay, she couldn’t make sense of her. That was why she wanted to talk to her. Therefore, she left Chakotay in command of the ship and lead Quinn in her room next to the bridge.

“How do you like it here so far?”

“Depending. Are you talking about the ship itself or it’s crew? The ship is, for earth’s standards, impressive, as far as I can say. The crew however I cannot judge. I had only a brief conversation with your cook and had no other interaction than being stared at by the rest, except for Chakotay. He, however, has been very pleasant a company.”

Janeway nodded, slightly surprised by the length of this answer. Her conclusion from the earlier interaction with her had been that she was arrogant and somewhat harsh. Now, though, she appeared to be reserved, nothing more. Probably due to her involuntarily stay abord this ship.

“I’m glad that at least Chakotay has proven to be polite. The rest of my crew, I am sure, will get used to you, and be more pleasant.”

“Oh, I can completely understand why they behaved as they did. I do not blame them for it. Curiosity, though not appreciated among my own kin, is highly common for many species I have encountered.”

That was very insightful. Again, this surprised Janeway, and made her wonder how her judgement of Quinn’s character could be so far off. It worried her, but also reminded her to keep an open mind when it came to judging people.

“Do you mind telling me again, how exactly you ended up here?”

Quinn thought for a second, then decided to not tell Janeway the truth. They might be friendly now, but she still wasn’t convinced they would remain hospitable when she told them who she was.

“Well, like I said, my father found out about my affair with a human man. He was outraged, screamed at me, threw things around and at some point, those things included me. And he threw me here. Onto this ship, where I crash landed into your console. I apologize about that, by the way. I hope I didn’t cause too much damage.”

“Don’t worry, we already started repairing it. But how did your father throw you here, exactly.”

“I’m afraid, that is a question only my father can answer. I simply don’t know. So sorry. I wish I could be of more help.”

“Your species must be powerful, if your father can throw you like that.”

“He is, I’m not so much.”

Not anymore at least, she thought wearily.

“So, he could get you off my ship whenever he pleases?”

“He certainly could. But I assure you, that will not happen. Last time, I was in exile for more than two decades.”

Janeway nodded silently, wondering about this woman in front of her and about what could possibly manage to throw her into her ship. What worried her the most, however, was Quinn’s father. He obviously was powerful and most definitely cruel. She just hoped that sending his daughter to them was enough and that he didn’t have any other plans that might endanger her ship.

“I would like to work, while I’m here. make myself useful.”

“Very well. Do you have any specialty?”

“I lived a hundred lives. I can do, whatever you need me to. Medical, engineering, piloting, gardening, science and much more.”

“Well, we can always need more hands. I’ll ask around who needs the most help. Until then, how about you help out in sickbay”

Quinn agreed and was dismissed. She left the bridge, trying to find her way back to the infirmary, but instead ended in what looked like storage.

“Can I be of assistance?”

A tall woman stood on a console in front of her, looking sternly.

“I’m Quinn, I’m new here and kind of lost.”

“Where did you want to go?”

Behind some containers a young man appeared, not yet grown up.

“Infirmary. Can you help me?”

“Sure”, the boy smiled, “I’ll show you the way.”

“Have you finished your assignment?”

“Yes.”

“Then you may go.”

The boy nodded at the woman, then lead Quinn out on the hallway.

“I’m Icheb. The woman inside is Seven of Nine.”

“You’re borg.”

“We were, yes.”

Quinn nodded, she had never understood the prejudice mortals felt towards people like them and thus wasn’t bothered by this fact. Then again, other than mortals, she usually was more powerful than the borg and could not be assimilated by them.

“How long have you been on the Voyager?”

“Not that long. About a year.”

“Do you like it here?”

He thought about the question for some seconds, then nodded.

“Very much. My parents tried to sacrifice me to avenge their dead comrades but Captain Janeway saved me. Twice, actually.”

“She seems to be a kind leader.”

“I don’t know about kind, but she is just.”

Quinn nodded, that was a very important quality for a leader and more than she could say about most of her species.

“I’ve heard of your incident on the bridge.”

“I assume everyone has.”

That made Icheb laugh, but then he became serious again.

“You’re not like them, are you.”

“Define ‘them’.”

“Most of the people here. You’re… less human.”

“I am not human at all. But I assume you refer to the character trait ‘human’ as in kind, just, generous, selfless, friendly and so on, then yes. I am less humane.”

He nodded gravely, then seemed to consider if he should ask more question or leave the topic alone. Apparently, he decided not to and gave in to the curiosity. Again, Quinn marvelled about curiosity. It was such a strong trait, present in almost every species, even though in different intensity. But always driving them to strive for better and to learn more.

“Is your species like you?”

“No. I don’t believe they are.”

How could Quinn best describe them? She had tried before, but never found the right words for them.

“They are… cold, selfish, cruel… ignorant to others, especially those they deem beneath them, which is every other species. They have no morals to live by, except their selfishness…. They’re arrogant and destructive, they value nothing but themselves.”

“Doesn’t sound like someone I want to meet.”

There she had to agree with Icheb. They certainly weren’t.

“Is that why you’re here? Because you don’t like them?”

“No. I’m here because they don’t like me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There is no need for that. I certainly am not. Being different is not bad. Being different means being special. You and me, Icheb, we’re special. Special enough to be granted the favour of being here. Where we can be ourselves.”

“Are you saying it was destiny that we’re here?”

Icheb sounded as if he didn’t believe in destiny. Neither did Quinn, she had often enough played destiny for mortals. She knew there was not great meaning behind things.

“No, I’m saying that we were lucky that the serious of fortunate and unfortunate events we call our life ultimately lead us here.”

“How very poetic of you.”

Chakotay had joined them without either of them noticing.

“I would never have guessed that you were a poet.”

He chuckled and then turned to Icheb, “I was looking for you. If you’re done with Seven’s assignments, you might want to help Harry in telemetry.”

Icheb nodded and turned to leave, then stopped and looked at Quinn.

“Go, I’ll find the way. Thanks for your help and the conversation.”

“A pleasure.”

With that he was gone. Chakotay however stayed with her.

“Where were you going?”

“Infirmary. I offered Captain Janeway my help and she send me there. However, I seem to have gotten lost since I ended in a storage, where I found Icheb and Seven of Nine.”

“Ah. If you want to, I can show you the way.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

And so, Chakotay walked next to her, telling her about the Voyager, while showing her the way. Then they reached their destination.

“Should you get lost again, you can ask the computer. Just say computer and specify what you want, it will answer you.”

“Thank you for the help. Will you be in the Casino later, for lunch?”

Smiling, Chakotay nodded, “Would you like to join me?”

That was exactly what Quinn had been hoping for.

“Yes, I would very much like too.”

“Okay. See you then.”

Still smiling he left, and Quinn entered the infirmary. Which was empty, to her surprise. She had at least expected the hologram to be active during the day.

“Hello? Anyone here?”

Luckily for the Doctor, this time Quinn somewhat expected him to pop up out of nowhere he only scared her, but not enough to send him back into a supernova.

“Ah, Miss Quinn. How can I help you?”

“I was told I might be of assistance here. I’m trained in several culture’s medicine.”

“Oh?”

She smiled at the surprise clearly visible in his face.

“I am rather old, Doctor. I have more knowledge than anyone here on bord except for you.”

“But then again, I’m not alive.”

Quinn raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the left and examining the Doctor closely. Much the doctor’s irritation, but he stood there quietly until, after a while, she straightened her head again and declaring,

“I must disagree. You might not fit most species’ criteria of lifeform but have the ability to learn, to think and to make decisions, thus you qualify as lifeform.”

“That is very generous of you, sadly very little others see it that way.”

“What do you care about them? My father thinks I’m stupid, my government thinks I’m a waste of resources, that one planet thought of me as their almighty ruler of heaven and earth, another one thought of me as evil master of hell, my mother usually doesn’t think of me at all. None of that is true and thus none of it matters.”

The Doctor didn’t answer immediately and just like Chakotay before he looked rather horrified. Quinn began to think, that not loving and caring for children was the exception when even a hologram was horrified by the idea.

However, the Doctor chose not to address that matter.

“I think you will be useful here. I’m looking forward to working with you.”


	4. Chapter 4

Later that day, Quinn returned to the casino. This time without getting lost. There, Chakotay already waited for her and smiled at her when she sat down opposite to him.

“I had began to wonder if the Doctor wouldn’t let you go.”

“He almost hadn’t. Turns out, I possess knowledge about some species you’ve encountered that he hasn’t. He was very eager to fill any gaps.”

The thought of the doctor being lectured made Chakotay smile.

“Oh, shame I missed that.”

“Yes, it was quite entertaining. Did you have a pleasant day?”

“It was alright. Nothing special happened. We are almost done repairing the bridge.”

He smiled, but Quinn still felt a little bad for it.

“I am glad I did not cause any serious damage.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we had worse things crash into us.”

“Makes me wonder if I really want to stay here.”

Then again, where else should she go? Chakotay had wanted to make a joke, but when he saw her expression, he remained silent. She looked lost again, so very lost. He couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling. Quinn had been abandoned and mistreated by her father time and again, and yet, she had always returned to him, to their planet, because she had nowhere else to go.

“You can stay here, you know. For as long as you want.”

“Thank you, that is exceedingly kind. But…”

But they wouldn’t want her to stay, Quinn thought, not when they find out who she really was.

“If you want to, we could find you a planet to settle down. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

“I think for now, I’d like to stay. Like I said earlier, I’m lucky that I’m here.”

“Good. I’d hate to see you leave.”

Did he? That was a surprise to both of them. Quinn had no idea what to make of this comment, while Chakotay was plainly surprised he’d said that out loud. Sure, he had thought it, but actually saying it? That was different. And awkward. Luckily for him, Quinn didn’t really care about awkward, she just thought it was nice, unexpected, but nice. The rest of lunch was not as awkward, but entertaining.

The rest of the day Quinn spent in sickbay. Then she returned to the room she had been given the night before.

In similar ways she spent the following days. For breakfast, she would always meet with Chakotay, lunch she had with either Chakotay or alone, once she was joined by Captain Janeway, and dinner she usually skipped. Although, as she found out, she now needed food, her body wasn’t quite used to it and therefore content with little amounts. Most of her day, Quinn spent with the Doctor.

The Doctor, though peculiar, was a rather nice guy, once she got used to him. The rest of the crew got used to her too, soon, and things fell into some kind of routine. Since Quinn had never been too great with time, she wasn’t quite sure how long she had been abord the Voyager already. She could tell what century it was and occasionally even get the year right, but that was about it. In the grand scheme of things, everything shorter than years were just blips. Which resulted in Chakotay telling her every week that another week was over, hoping that she would develop a sense for time that way. More or less successfully.

As for the moment, she sat in the Casino with Chakotay again. He had talked her into having dinner today, by promising her that dinner would be so delicious she couldn’t possibly miss it.

“So far, the food wasn’t that special.”

“Are you kidding? That’s my favourite food!”

“Why? This is a strange liquid with squishy sponges swimming in it?!”

That made both her and Chakotay laugh.

“That is the weirdest description of mushroom soup I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard a few.”

“It isn’t wrong though.”

“It certainly isn’t. But is it right?”

“Probably not”

Smiling, he ate another spoon full.

“But something else, we reach a planet tomorrow. Uninhibited, but the scans show signs of deuterium, so I’ll take a shuttle down to the surface and see if I can find the source. B’Elanna was supposed to accompany me, but she is injured.”

Quinn nodded, she had earlier treated the half-Klingon with anger management issues.

“I talked to the Captain and she agreed that you can come with me. If you want to, that is.”

“Join you on an away mission in my second months?”

“Yes. You see, B’Elanna suggested that I could take you with me. You seemed to have impressed her with the tip you gave her.”

“Oh that? That was nothing.”

While she had treated B’Elanna, they had talked a little about how she got the injury and Quinn, knowing a little about engineering, had made a suggestion on how to solve the problem. Apparently, it had worked.

“So, what do you think?”

“I would love to.”

“Great.”


	5. Chapter 5

They left early afternoon, after Quinn had spent an eventless morning on the sickbay.

“So, why is Voyager not going?”

“They’re meeting with some ambassadors of a planet in the next solar system. But don’t worry, they’ll be back for us in three days.”

Quinn nodded, not worried at all. She was used to getting abandoned on strange places. However, it surprised her a little that Chakotay wasn’t worried either. He was without backup, without help should something go wrong, without anyone… well, except for her, but her could hardly trust her after just little more than a month. Or did he?

“You must have been to many planets in a life that long.”

“I have. I like living with different cultures and learning from them. It’s quite fascinating. Even those species who never had any contact with other ones develop similar ideas. Some quicker than others, but all share one of the most important traits, curiosity. All species except mine, of course.”

“You don’t feel curiosity?”

That seriously surprised Chakotay. So far, he had gotten the impression that she was extremely curious.

“I do, but, for quite a while now, I believe that I’m not like the rest of them.”

Not at all, whatsoever. From what she had told him, Chakotay could agree with that. And he was happy about it.

Before he could answer to that, the shuttle shook.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know.”

A look at the controls told him. An electromagnetic storm had built up around them, beginning to close them in. They couldn’t fly out again, so the only way left was down, through it, praying that Chakotay managed to land them safely.

According to the throbbing of his head, Chakotay guessed that he had not managed to land. When he sat up, the world began to turn around him and he couldn’t see anything.

“Quinn? Are you okay? Quinn!”

As his vision began to clear a little, Chakotay realised that he wasn’t in the cockpit anymore but in the back of the shuttle, on the biobed.

“Quinn?!”

“You’re awake!”

Quinn hurried towards him. She had known that humans very rather fragile compared to her, but seeing Chakotay knocked out cold after they crashed had worried her.

“How are you feeling?”

“My heads hurts and my ribs feel… weird. What happened?”

“We crashed. It’s no wonder your head hurts, you have a severe concussion, you hit your head hard. You also broke three ribs. Unfortunately, the medical equipment took some damage, too. Given time, I can repair it, I hope, but for now, I was only able to begin healing your ribs and the cut on your forehead.”

“What about you? Are you hurt?”

“I took the full force of crashing into the Voyager at lightspeed undamaged, I think I can handle a little shuttle crash.”

Chakotay had completely forgotten about that, but of course she was right, much to his relieve. He could deal with being injured himself, but being unable to help her? The mere thought of it scared him.

“How’s the shuttle doing?”

“Bad. The hull is cracked. I’ll show you. Can you stand?”

He could not. When he tried to stand up, he grew dizzy again and almost fell, but Quinn caught him and kept him upright.

“Thanks.”

Since she didn’t trust that he could make his way to the cockpit himself, she lay his arm around her shoulders and helped him.

To say the cockpit was cracked would have been too nice. It was completely wrecked. The front was torn open, tree branches were laying around everywhere.

“We hit some mountains on our way down and then landed in this wood.”

“It’s a miracle we survived that.”

“Nah, has it perks to be tough. When I saw the mountains showing up and couldn’t evade them, I got you out of here. Decided, rather loose the shuttle than you.”

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, but when Chakotay turned to her, she wouldn’t look at him. He looked at the wreck in front of him and sighed,

“I don’t think we can repair it.”

“Doesn’t look like, no. We’re stuck.”

“Until Voyager comes and rescues us.”

“Will they?”

“Of course, they will. And three days we can do.”

Quinn nodded again. If they would come, great, if not… she would survive here, no problem. But Chakotay? She wasn’t so sure about that. For now, however, he needed to rest and she needed to think. So she brought him back and helped him lay down again.

“Sleep a little. You’ll feel better afterwards.”

When Chakotay woke up again he did feel a little better. His ribs and head still hurt, but he wasn’t as dizzy anymore. He sat up and found Quinn sitting on the floor, close to the biobed, trying to fix something.

“What’s that?”

“The molecular synthesiser.”

“The replicator?”

Quinn nodded gravely. With the synthesiser they could survive for quite some time here, should the Voyager fail to rescue them. Without it, however, they would have to find other sources of nutrition.

“How are the chances of survival for our friend?”

“Low. If we don’t find another energy source, we can forget about it.”

“So, we have no medical equipment, no replicator…”

“… no functional shuttle and no communication.”

“No communication?”

“No. I checked it while you were sleeping. It got hit too. Not as badly as the rest, but… I can’t get a proper signal. As soon as I’m more than a few steps away from the shuttle, it’s gone.”

Chakotay sighed, none of that sounded good. There just seemed to be more and more bad news. But what was even worse, he was not much of a help to Quinn. So far he hadn’t done anything but being asleep. And since he was still hurt, it didn’t look like that would change anytime soon.

“Well, if that’s so, I think we should eat.”

“I checked the emergency rations too, they will last a only week for both of us.”

“A week only? Less then I expected, but they probably assumed that they could rescue us within a week and that we would have a replicator.”

“We don’t and if Voyager doesn’t find a way to reach us in time, we will run out of food.”

“They will reach us in time.”

Quinn smiled softly as she handed Chakotay one of the food packs.

“I calculated it, you will last longer if…”

“Forget about it.”

“I need very little food. I can go a week or more without it. Even longer if I have too. If they come and get us as you said, we won’t have any problems. If they don’t, we can buy them more time.”

“No. If they don’t, we will go out and find another way. I will not sit here and watch you starve yourself just so that I will last a little longer. That’s inacceptable.”

How could she possible think he would let that happen? Within seconds Chakotay knew he answer, because of her father. Because he had made sure she would consider herself less important than the other one. Just that this time the other one wasn’t her father but him. And he wouldn’t let her give herself up for anyone. Never again.

“We’ll find away. Whatever happens, we’ll find away. Together.”

With some effort, Chakotay got up and walked over to her. He grabbed another food pack and sat down, handing it to her.

“May I have dinner with you?”

“I think it’s lunch.”

“Well, then we will work up to dinner. How about that?”

“Sounds good.”

Smiling, she took the pack and opened it. Inside where two bars, pressed proteins and nutrition mixed with vitamins. Quinn hesitantly took a bit and swallowed it with a grimace.

“Reminds me of Kraylorian stew.”

“Kraylorian? The Kraylor?”

“Yes. Usually, they’re not bad cooks, but never eat their stew.”

Chakotay chuckled, “That bad?”

“Disgusting.”

“The things you must have seen and done in all your hundreds of years. I can’t even begin to imagine. All the history you’ve witnessed. The important moments in time, the people you’ve met.”

“What I’ve seen most is war, destruction and death. Always death. Sure, there is love and life, too. But what is it worth to see a child being born, if you also see the child grow up to be hateful and violent, to fight and kill their brothers and sisters? I’ve seen innocent been slaughtered, I’ve seen children turned into monster, I’ve seen it all, the darkest and deepest secrets of the universe, I’ve seen them. All the major wars and catastrophes, my race has been there, watching, always watching, but never doing anything.”

“Didn’t you ever try to help? I assume you have at least some powers like your father, so you could have helped.”

That surprised Chakotay, he had gotten the feeling that Quinn was always eager to help people, that she was kind and caring. At least, that was how she had behaved the last weeks. But if she had really witnessed all these horrible things, and if she really was this powerful being, then why didn’t she help? 

Looking at his expression, Quinn could guess what he was thinking. He was blaming her for standing by while entire species were wiped out. She had seen this look before, whenever someone found out about her true identity, they would look at her this way, demanding an explanation. She never tried to justify herself. To her, there was no justification for letting any of that happen, not excuse or reason. So she never gave an explanation, until now. Even though she knew that it was unforgivable, she at least needed Chakotay to understand.

“Trying to prevent the creation of the Borg queen? Twenty years in a bottomless pit, falling, all alone, no food, no water, no light, not a single being there except me. Trying to assassinate Hitler to prevent one of the biggest genocides in early earth history? His entire reign I spent in the concentration camp Dachau. Attempting to prevent the Cardassian war? A decade in the Saranean mines. Stopping the Xindi attack on earth? Several years chained up in a supernova. And every single time I tried to intervein. The council made sure I always failed. And when I did, I felt every life lost, I shared every survivors pain and grieve.”

During the last month, Chakotay had learned many horrifying things about Quinn, but this was by far the worst. So far, she had always made it sound as if her father had punished her for having fun, but… She had gone through all those punishments, because she had tried to save lives? And still, she had done it again and again. And he had accused her of standing by, indifferently.

“But surely, there have to be good things, too. Things you like to remember.”

“Even the best moments will eventually turn bad and painful. My time on the voyager, with you, I enjoy it. I really do. The dinners we have, the afternoon we spent on the holodeck, the hours I spent at sickbay, helping the crew, those are good times, times I can remember with a smile today. But in a few decades, when you have died, all of you, I don’t want to remember that anymore. Time turns even the most joyful memory into bitterness. But I will remember. I always will. Every person I’ve ever loved, every friend I’ve ever made, every single thing, I will remember, and I will learn to hate it all.”

It was clearly visible in Quinn’s face how much the mere thought of this times turning into bitter memories pained her. Which Chakotay could understand. Of course he had known that she was immortal, that she would survive them all, but he had never really thought about it. Now that he did, he wondered, if one day, the painful memories would turn her into a monster like the rest of her species.

“You see, immortality is no gift. It’s a curse I would lay down any moment if I just got the chance.”

Much to his surprise, Quinn smiled at him warmly, turning her pained expression into a lighter, softer one, “And still, I wouldn’t want to miss the good times.”

“Do they make up for all the bad things?”

He knew the answer, he knew, nothing could make up for all those horrible things, but still, he desperately hoped they would.

“No, but they make them easier to bear. And they keep me kind, they remind me of just how much I have to lose. Even moments like this, moments that you might not call good, I treasure, because they make me realise over and over again that I can never let the bitter memories turn me resentful and cruel. I cannot ever allow myself to become like the rest of them. I cannot turn my back on the universe and indifferently watch all this suffering. If I can spear just one person pain, I’ll gladly suffer whatever punishment my father thinks of.”

It surprised Chakotay how she could stay so positive through it all, even though she suffered, even though she helplessly watched people die, she remained kind. He knew, he could never do that. Last time he felt like he helplessly had to watch thousands of people die he had joined the Maquis. He and so many others on the Voyager had let the bitterness mislead them, they had turned their back on the Federation. And here she sat, Quinn, who had suffered for over two thousand years, punished over and over again for doing the right thing, for trying to save lives, and still she tried.

“You are incredibly strong. Stronger than everyone I know.”

“Are you sure about that? I mean, you are in the middle of Delta quadrant. A lifetime’s journey away from home. Cut off from the Starfleet, on your own. And still, you still stay true to the values of the Federation. You had way home, but you sacrificed it to save a species. I think that’s extraordinarily strong.”

Maybe it was, but it wasn’t him. He hadn’t made this choice, he had very much disliked this choice.

“I betrayed the Starfleet, the entire Federation. I was considered a traitor, a terrorist.”

Somehow, looking at this kind, caring man in front of her, Quinn found that hard to believe.

“I joined the Maquis, a rebellion organization that fights the Cardassian.”

“Maquis, huh. I heard of them. They consider themselves freedom fighters. Tell me, Chakotay, why did you join them?”

“Because my father had been killed by the Cardassians, when he tried to defend our village, while I was off somewhere with the Starfleet. I… From then on, I felt like the Federation didn’t care about the people. After all, they had given away some colonies to the Cardassians. So, I left the Starfleet and continued my father’s fight, by joining the Maquis.”

“See, you’re not a bad person. You felt angry, betrayed and alone, and you made a choice. A bad one, maybe, but for good reasons. You wanted to protect people, to save them. Sometimes, everyone is led astray, what matters is that we find our way back to the path of righteousness. You did.”

“Did you ever lose it?”

“Many times. It has happened, that during a punishment I grew wary of it. Of all of it. Of watching so many people die, of feeling helpless, of feeling like my father’s puppet. The bitterness overtook me and I found myself a planet somewhere far off. Where is spent some years as their… god. I was so tried of failing, I just wanted control, I thought I could help them, make their lives better. I was desperate and angry…I didn’t want to be helpless anymore.”

Chakotay sighed, he knew this feeling all too well. Everyone had demons lurking in the shadows, and he had been dealing with his for a long time now. But today, he felt like they were a little further away than usually. He sighed again and rose.

“You should rest, I’ll keep watch.”

“You need the rest more than I do. You still need to recover.”

“I’ve got enough rest, it’s your turn. How long haven’t you slept anymore, anyways?”

“Don’t know, don’t remember. I only sleep every other night anyways.”

Looking at the food in her hand, Chakotay decided that he had achieved enough today, better not push too far. So he nodded slowly, then lay down again. She was right, too, he did need the rest.

Quinn remained on the floor, starring distractedly at her dinner. Never before had she told anyone about that. Mostly, because she never before had had anyone to talk about something like that. Who would have understood her? Until now, she had always thought that, since no one else could be in her situation, no one could understand. But maybe, just maybe, Chakotay actually understood her.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Voyager were supposed to come pick them up. Meaning, they would be within reach to pick up the distress signal early noon and hopefully would have picked them up before lunch. So far, the plan. The morning was spent in silent anticipation, until Quinn had enough.

“How about we go outside and wait for them there. Nothing in here will help us anyway, so why sit around? Let’s go outside.”

She couldn’t sit around anymore and by the look on Chakotay’s face, neither could he. So they climbed through the broken windshield out into the wood.

They were not far from the edge of the wood, which was where they went. The scenery that opend was beautiful. In front of them lay a wild meadow, covered in fresh, green gras, colourful floweres and herb. Not far away a small river burst, which probably joined with a larger one somewhere in the distance. Far away on the horizon, montains were visible. The sun dipped everything into a warm, golden light and made it look like a perfect idyll.

“Looks like that’s where we actually wanted to go.”

“Looks like that’s where we’ll have to go if Captain Janeway doesn’t come for us.”

“She will.”

“I wish I could believe that. Its afternoon already. We were supposed to meet with them in the morning. By now, they should be here.”

“They will come for us.”

Chakotay smiled confidently, and sat down at the edge of the forest, his back leaning on a tree.

With a deep sigh, Quinn sat down next to him. She really hoped he was right. But somewhere inside her there was this nagging voice asking if she was sure that this wasn’t part of her father’s punishment. If it was, the Voyager wouldn’t come today, they wouldn’t come at all. She and Chakotay would be stranded here and it would be her fault. And it would be one of the worst punishments so far. This time, not only she would suffer, but she had doomed Chakotay to a life in isolation too. He would grow old and die on this planet, with no one else but her as company.

No! No, this was not her punishment. Her father was not as creative, and he didn’t have the patients to have a plant that elaborate. Not when he was angry at her. And after the initial punishment, she doubted he even thought about her. No, this was not part of her punishment, this was just the universe being a bitch. How had she called it when talking to Icheb? A series of fortunate and unfortune events that make up their lives. And all they had to do was hope and wait for the fortunate events.

But as they watched the sun wander over the sky and eventual sink behind the mountains, Chakotay began to wonder. He didn’t believe for one second that Kathryn would leave them behind. Still, what if they thought they were dead? What if they decided it wasn’t worth risking more lives trying to rescue them? He of course didn’t want anyone to risk their lives for him, but he also didn’t want to die on this planet.

The Voyager didn’t come the next day and none of the following. A week after the crash, they had reached the end of their rations.

Chakotay had spent most of that time sitting at the edge of the forest, praying to the ancestors. On one hand, Quinn was glad about that because it meant his injures could heal, on the other hand she worried about him. On the evening of the fifth day, as the sun as sinking behind the mountains, painting the skies in a bright orange, she kneeled down next to him. She had spent the day, and all the days before, repairing what she could, with little to no success. When the sun had begun to set, she had given up and came out to have dinner with Chakotay. The last to ration packs.

“They won’t come, Chakotay, I’m sorry.”

He looked up from the piece of wood he had been carving.

“Captain Janeway wouldn’t just abandon us.”

“Perhaps not. I don’t know. But the way things are, we have to accept that we’ll be here for a while. And we can’t live in the shuttle forever. We’ve been lucky as it is that it was warm and dry so far. The shuttle offers no protection from rain or cold anymore.”

“No. You’re right. I’ve been thinking about that too. And I believe we should be able to build a cabin. My father taught me how to do that, and with your help, I think I could build us a nice little house. Just tell me where.”

That surprised Quinn a little, she had expected more resistance from him, but then again, he was a reasonable person and he must have realised that they needed a plan for the case they weren’t rescued.

“I would suggest we stay close to the shuttle. We also have the advantage of a close by river and the forest. So, here is good.”

Chakotay nodded, they had pretty much all they could ask for here.

“And with the vegetables we found so far we can plant a garden.”

That made him laugh, “As long as I don’t have to hunt.”

“Garden is much better. And also, a garden will be something to do once we finished building the cabin.”

“It will be a very simple life.”

He sighed, so many years ago, he had left his family to escape a life like this and live in the modern world and now, he had no choice but to live a life like this again.

“Unless we get the replicator working again.”

“I thought you said it was dead?”

“I said could fix it, if I had deuterium.”

“But we don’t have any.”

“We don’t. But those mountains do.”

Both looked towards the mountains for several minutes.

“They are several days away.”

“I know. I was just thinking. For now, we should focus on shelter and a garden. Once we secured the basics, we can worry about the rest.”

Chakotay nodded, but he knew she would eventually go there. There was not much of a choice. Having a replicator could safe their lives and it would make things a lot easier. And as little as he liked the idea of her going off on her own, he knew that she would be the one who had to go, they couldn’t both go and she was more enduring than he was. He still hated the thought. But for now, Quinn was right, they had more important things to do and so they retuned inside and began planning their new home.

With several men of his tribe, Chakotay’s father had managed to build a cabin within a week. Chakotay had estimated that they would need at least two months. To his infinite surprise, they were finished after less than one. The first few logs were not problematic, with combined strength, they managed. But the higher the walls got, the more strength they needed. Until, after almost getting crushed by a log, Quinn had built a makeshift crane. That made things a lot easier and they were able to finish ahead of schedule. In the end, they had a cabin with a kitchen, a living room and two bedrooms. While Chakotay had made furniture, Quinn had made walls and doors and after being done with that, had build a fence around the cabin and began planning a garden.

About two months after the crash, Chakotay and Quinn sat on the bench in front of the cabin, watching the sunset.

“It’s getting colder.”

“Yes. You were right, winter is approaching. Luckily, you came up with the idea of the crane.”

“Just wasn’t in the mood of getting crushed, again.”

“Not that it did much to you. Nearly gave me a heart attack, though.”

Quinn chuckled softly, but didn’t answer. The accident hadn’t only scared Chakotay, it had also hurt her immensely. Not in any way to leave injuries, but it had been incredibly painful. But Chakotay didn’t know that. She hadn’t told him and didn’t plan on ever doing so. He felt bad enough about it anyway, seeing as she pushed him out of the way when the log had come crashing towards them.

“We have to talk about the deuterium.”

Chakotay sighed deeply, so far, he had avoided the topic. They had only today finished the cabin and the necessary furniture, so it hadn’t been top priority. But that had changed.

“If I don’t leave soon, it’ll be too cold. And we have no idea how long or cold the winters will get here. We need to be prepared and that means, having a functioning replicator.”

“I know, you’re right. I just don’t like the idea of you going alone.”

“I can handle myself, Chakotay. And I’ll be in less danger than you would. It’s pretty damn hard to kill me.”

“I’ve seen that. And I know you’re right. You have to go. And you probably should go tomorrow, early morning.”

“What will you do in this time?”

“Tend the garden, collect food, and see if I can find clay. That would make storing our food a lot easier.”

Quinn smiled, she was really lucky to be stranded here with a man like him. She knew more than enough men who would deem it bellow them to tend a garden or collect food, not that many man in this century knew how to do that anyway, but still, of all the people, Quinn was happy that Chakotay was here with her. Although, for his sake, she wished he wasn’t.

“Do you sometimes wonder where the Voyager is right now? And why they didn’t come for us?”

“Actually, yeah. I kind of miss the Doctor.”

“You two have a very strange friendship.”

“Then again, we are both very strange. But yes, I wonder. I also wonder why they didn’t come for you.”

“For us. And I wonder that too. Maybe they thought we died?”

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, starring at the mountains. In the end, it didn’t matter anyway. The Voyager hadn’t come, they left them behind. Nothing to be done about that.

“I should go, prepare for tomorrow’s journey. Pack a few things, you know.” 

Chakotay nodded in agreement. For a moment he considered just staying here for some more time, but then he went after her.

“Have you ever tried connecting with your spirit guide?”

Astonished, Quinn looked up from the toolbox.

“You mean, what you’ve been doing? This mediation?”

“Yes. I find it to be helpful. Especially when I have to sort through my thoughts and emotions.”

“And you want to show me how to do this?”

Chakotay shrugged, he wasn’t sure himself why he wanted to. He just felt better at the thought of her being not completely alone out there.

“Alright, let’s try.”

They sat down on the floor, opposite to each other.

“Now you have to try and reach a state of deep meditation. When you managed that, you can call out for your animal guide. It will find you.”

He then wanted to explain her how to reach this state of meditation with the help of a technical devise, but Quinn just smiled and shook her head.

“I can reach this state on my own. Don’t think I have been fully conscious during all those years of isolation.”

“Okay. Usually, one has a medicine bag like this one, with items important to this person.”

Chakotay gestured towards a piece of leather on which a black feather, a stone and the device lay.

“You don’t necessarily need it, but it makes things a lot easier. You’ll just have to try without.”

With a smile, Quinn fetched a small round disk out of her pocket. It was made of wood and had leaves and branches carved out as edges, the rest was filled with some sort of pattern. Chakotay had made it for her, while they had waited for the Voyager.

“I have this.”

Surprised, Chakotay raised an eyebrow, but then smiled. He had not expected that this little carving meant anything to Quinn. But now that he thought about it, he realised that this was probably the first gift anyone had given her in quite some time.

“Yes, you have.”

Still smiling, Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, which she let go after a few seconds. When she opened her eyes again, she wasn’t siting in the cabin anymore, she was at one of the most beautiful places she had ever been. In front of her were grain fields, behind her stood an old farmhouse. Around her was the garden of said house, with fruit trees and chickens and geese running around freely. She had spent about a year here, a long time ago. She had still been a child. Somewhere around seven, in human years. It was the first time her father had punished her by sending her away. He’d send her here, to a rural farm somewhere on earth in the early 21st century. The family living here had taken her in. And for the first time, she had felt safe and cared about. For the first time in life, she had been happy. Until, after a year, her father had torn her away from there.

Taking a deep breath, Quinn tried to chase the memories away. When she around the next time, she saw that a small fox sat opposite to her, his intelligent eyes fixed upon her.

“Hello there. I guess you are my animal guide, aren’t you?”

The fox slowly bowed his head.

“Well, I am honoured to have been chosen by you. And I am glad to have you with me on the journey ahead of me.”

Again, he bowed his head, which Quinn mirrored, then she returned to the real world, where Chakotay still sat opposite of her, calmly waiting.

“It worked.”

“Good. I’ll feel better now about you going alone.”

“Talking about, I really need to pack.”


End file.
